Saturday, September 20, 2008

A Youthful Older Age --

Forgetfulness can be most annoying. When I was young we called it “memory lapses.” As middle age set in we called it “absentmindedness.” Now, as a senior citizen, we call it “senior moments.”

Senior moments can be terribly frustrating. Like the one I had this past week. While working at the office it dawned on me that I needed to pick up a form from our Office Manager. Jumping up from my desk I did a “fast-walk” down the long hallway to her office. Once there I stood as though in a daze. There was no recollection whatsoever as to what I needed. I told the manager that I could not remember why I came to her office. She told me to go on back to my desk and whatever it was would come to mind. And so I did. But it didn’t.

Several times when driving in the Houston area I’ll start daydreaming. Then suddenly I’ll pop awake and look around with no idea of where I am. Other times I’ll slip into memory mode and think I am driving around in the Beaumont area. This can be really confusing not knowing for sure in which town you are navigating.

My scariest ever senior moment happened recently when I was trying to come up with a column to reference football. Since football season is in full swing I wanted to write about the rivalry between the Beaumont High School Royal Purples and the South Park High School Greenies.

The thought emerged that I should call over to Beaumont and inquire as to the date this year that those two teams were scheduled to play their football game. This way my column could be published on that weekend with the game fresh on every mind. But wait a minute. This is 2008. The Purples and the Greenies have not played a football game in years. What was I thinking? I wasn’t. It was just another senior moment. Evidently I was lost in my memories and forgot to return to the present and reality.

But think about it. Why couldn’t we have a rivalry get-together every year? There are enough old Greenies and old Purples left over to have quite a gathering. We could even play an annual football game. Some of the rules would need changing though to accommodate our “maturity.”

Here are a few of those changes should such an event ever take place:

• No tackling. We would have to play “touch” or “flag” football to save our brittle bones from being scattered all over the field.
• No running. All plays from scrimmage would have to be walked. Any player caught running would cause his team to be penalized one yard.
• No passing since legally no one could run out for a pass.
• The field would be only 25 yards from goal to goal instead of the usual 100 yards in order to speed up the game since everyone is walking.

• No blocking. We would not want everyone ending up in body casts.
• No halftime. The game would last for only one quarter.

We still could have our cheerleaders yelling their heads off. Can’t you just see those 60 year old ladies in their cheerleader outfits trying to form a pyramid? And still there could be fizzy soda pop and pop corn at the concession stands. But I digress.

See? I did it again. Started out to write about forgetfulness and forgot what I was writing about. That’s how we ended up with a Greenie-Purple football game in my dreamland.

Memory lapses, absentmindedness, senior moments … call them what you like.

Forgetfulness can be most annoying. Did I already tell you that?

I can’t remember.

Winston Hamby


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