Laws

Here are some additional Dumb Laws courtesy of Aha! Jokes, http://www.AhaJokes.com (My comments are in parentheses):
* Arizona: It is illegal to hunt camels. (Seems like they would provide a permit for such. Think of the revenue they could collect from the onrush of camel hunters.)
* Iowa: One-armed piano players must perform for free. (Will this discrimination thing never end?)
* Iowa: Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants. (A sad day for horses.)
* Wyoming: You may not take a picture of a rabbit during the month of June. (Drat it. That’s the very month I was planning a rabbit picture-taking trip to Wyoming.)
* Kentucky: By law, anyone who has been drinking is “sober” until he or she “cannot hold onto the ground.” (What is this? Does gravity cease to function?)
* Vermont: It is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole. (Wow, how kinky can you get?)
* Natchez: It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to an elephant. (Guess there’s no point inviting an elephant over for a drink.)
* Nebraska: If a child burps during church, his parents may be arrested. (Is it ok for the parents to burp?)
* Nebraska: Barbers are forbidden from eating onions between 7 A.M. and 7 P.M. (My barber eats garlic constantly.)
* Ohio: Riding on the roof of a taxi cab is not allowed. (Of course you may sneak a ride on the roof without permission.)
*Lubbock: It is illegal to drive within an arm’s length of alcohol – including alcohol in someone else’s blood stream. (That’s going to make it tough on designated drivers.)
* Port Arthur: Obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator. (No Comment.)
*San Antonio: It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo. (Apparently Ozzy Osbourne didn’t get the memo.)
* Georgia: No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday. (No other choice but to stay home from church.)
* Detroit: It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets. (How about painting canaries to sell as parrots?)
* Virginia: You’re not allowed to park your elephant on Main Street. (Go south one block and park your elephant on Madison Avenue.)
* Kansas: Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights. (I am curious if indicator lights are required.)
* Wichita: Before proceeding through the intersection of Douglas and Broadway, a motorist is required to get out of their vehicle and fire three shot gun rounds into the air. (I’ll never need to know why this law is on the books.)
* Texas: The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home. (Guess you can always charter a bus to Louisiana and find a public library.)
* Florida: It is considered an offense to shower naked. (I should say so. Can you imagine anyone trying to do that?)
* Florida: If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. (They might try parking their camel and hope to get away with it.)
* Florida: A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sundays or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. (Besides that, she ought to be in church.)
* Florida: It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church. (How about a real moustache?)
* Memphis: It is illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians. (No Comment.)
Laws are enacted for reasons. Sometimes, these reasons escape us.

Winston Hamby
winhamby@gmail.com