A Day In The Night Of A Nut (I guess)...

Last night, about 1 a.m., I was awakened by the sound of someone opening our front door. I looked through the door from my bedroom and saw a drunk man coming in the door. He was dragging a beach cabin bench. I ordered him out of the house. He left and took his bench with him.
I went back to bed. A few minutes later, I heard the man coming back inside. There he was in the living room with his bench. I rushed him. I was swinging, pushing and shoving and yelling, "GET OUT OF HERE AND DON'T COME BACK."
My wife, Mardell, stepped into my bedroom just as I was waking up. She exclaimed, "Did you hear that noise?!!" I explained to her how that I had to chase the drunk man with the beach cabin bench out of the house. My wife then said compassionately, "I'm going back to bed."
I realized it had all been a very real dream. I had pushed everything off of my night stand. This included several books, the telephone, the lamp and whatever else might have been on the table. Then, I had proceeded to slug the wall.
This morning, my right forearm is bruised and sore. I have a bandage on one bloody spot just about my right wrist. Evidently the night stand put up a very worthy effort in our struggle.
I also observed this morning that my wife did not once mention the terrifying episode. Can it be that the wives of this modern age are losing their appreciation for the 24/7 bravery and protection provided by the noble and valiant husbands of the world? Only time will answer this question.