The Atomic Age Is Mushrooming ...

Our country and most likely our entire planet were ushered into the Atomic Age in 1945 when I was only ten years old. That is when the U. S. detonated the first atomic bomb in a test carried out at what we know as White Sands Missile Range in New Mexico. Our country was in a hurry to have the bomb first because it was reported that Germany was on a similar track. We could not afford to have that happen. And sure enough, within a few short months of that successful test at White Sands, the Japanese surrendered unconditionally. But I am not referring to the end of WW2. You see, officially I entered the Atomic Age in 2007 at the ripe old age of 72. Allow me to explain.

November of 2007 came and went and Christmas was fast approaching. So I ventured forth one day to do what all respectable dads, granddads and husbands do. I went Christmas shopping.

There was a product down at the local electronics store that had caught my eye. The printing on the box read, “Atomic Clock.” Now this fascinated me. I had seen pendulum clocks, spring-operated clocks and quartz clocks. And I had seen various forms of sun dials and the like. But this was my first occasion to run across an atomic clock.

To make a longer story shorter I ended up buying an atomic clock for my son, one for my daughter’s family, one for my bedroom wall and one for the den. Then I bought an atomic alarm clock for my wife. And while in Nuclear Craze I bought myself an atomic wrist watch. You cannot imagine just how atomic I felt as a result of these purchases.

There now was a need for reality. The clocks and watch should be set to the correct time. OK, the clocks set without much problem. All you had to do was insert a battery and stand back. The clocks set themselves to within one second of the world time clock.

Here is how the instructions explain it. “… consists of a crystal controlled clock movement which includes a very special AM radio receiver that is tuned to receive the 60kHz WWVB time signal broadcast from the U. S. Government’s Atomic Clock in Boulder, Colorado.” There, I couldn’t have worded it better myself.

Now it is necessary to set the alarm on my wife’s atomic alarm clock. Please follow closely as again I am quoting. “If you would like to be awoken to the station you are presently listening to press alarm button 1 or 2 for more than 2 seconds. Next depress the days you wish to be awoken at time selected.”

OK, let’s set my atomic wrist watch. “Depress button (A) for 2 seconds. When the digital display begins to blink depress button (C) 6 times. Then depress button (B) one time. You will please notice that the analog minute hand begins motions forward with the analog hour hand following along in the normal way. When the time seeked is showing depress button (A) to once again be in the Time Mode. If watch does not properly set please to read Trouble Shooting in the instruction booklets.”

All you really have to do is be sure that you are in the correct Time Zone. Then when Daylight Savings Time rolls around, stand back again. The clocks will reset themselves as they did in the first place.

I have heard that “Old dogs cannot learn new tricks.” Don’t you believe it. I am 72 and I can set any atomic timepiece you care to place before me. Do you know why?

I have officially entered the Atomic Age. No unconditional surrender needed.

Winston Hamby
WinHamby@comcast.net